Phoenix Birds

Hello God!

Thank You for creating us with the ability to rebuild and restore ourselves in any moment we choose.

A moment ago I was ruined and smitten by the quarrel with my husband. The reason, as usual, is egocentric and egodefending approach to each other. I was asking about soulmate’s warmness and kindness when the other side was not in the relevant mood to provide what was asking. The result is predictable conflict where we are both saying different words with the aim to damage each other’s egotemple. I am an emotional woman and the last words, unfortunately, were mine. I said that it is the guilt of my husband to remodel my person from “normal” to “pathetic creation with low self esteem”. I am not right, of course. I am saying: “I am sorry”, with eyes expressing as cat’s from “Shriek”.

I am smiling now. But before I took my dose of “emotional thunderstorm” with drama’s poems, music and crying. Oh, woman, woman! It seems we (women) need this “emotional thunderstorm” for restarting ourselves. I feel as good as phoenix bird arising from ashes. So I am a new phoenix now.

I am thinking how to rebuild my relationships with husband now. Today I have received a wise advices from Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks: How To Create A Conscious Relationship: 7 Principles, 7 Practices.

7 Principles, 7 Practices were created because Kathlyn and Gay set some big intentions: “We wanted to get free of the old patterns that had plagued us in past relationships, such as criticism, blame and secret-keeping. We wanted to create a relationship that ran on positive energy instead of up-and-down fluctuations of negative and positive.

The first principle: each partner commits to total union with the other person and total creative expression as an individual. And practice: you’re willing to go beyond all your ego-defenses to full unity, observe the emergence of your defensive barriers every day, communicate about them honestly, in fact, ego-defenses disappear quickly when you turn them into play.

The second principle: each partner learns from every relationship interaction,especially the stressful ones, instead of running programmed defensive moves. Some popular defensive moves: criticizing, lying, sulking in silence, making noisy uproars, numbing out with food, drink, smoke, TV and other habit-forming drugs. And practice: commitment to learning something new from every relationship interaction.

The third principle: a climate of absolute honesty, no hidden feelings or withheld truths. And practice: notice your feelings and thoughts, and speak about them to your partner.

The fourth principle: people keep their agreements impeccably. And practice: monitor each agreement you make very carefully, making sure you want to make it in the first place.

The fifth principle: a climate of 100 percent accountability, where nobody blames or claims victim status. And practice: claim responsibility for having created it the way it occurred, speak in empowered language.

The sixth principle: appreciate each other liberally. And practice: invent new ways to appreciate the other person every day, and speak appreciations frequently.

The seventh principle: everything can be resolved with willingness and love. And practice: Love as much as you can from wherever you are.

Thank you, Kathlyn and Gay for sharing your wisdom with young phoenix birds. We are new now and we will go by suggested principles and practices to be a total and beautiful union. I know it takes decades but we have enough time together. I wish our way is as bright and sparkling as on the picture below.


32 thoughts on “Phoenix Birds

  1. After l read the post all l can say is to say l wish you happiness.Have a blessed day.(thank you for liking my post..jalal

  2. Thank you for finding me and helping me to find you!
    I’ll be metamorphing my way with the aid of your words!

  3. There is profound wisdom in these principals. My favourite phrase is, ‘Love as much as you can from wherever you are’. Thanks for sharing and for visiting my blog. Blessings, Harula xxx

    1. Sometimes we are lucky to implement something good in our lives. Relationship is the hardest field for implementations. But we try again and again :-).
      Thank you for visiting and liking! Have a nice day!

  4. Thank you for sharing these Truths Glorialana and they are very important and bring much Love and unity when both have the same focus and that is in The Lord as He tells us it needs to be but there is another very important principle that we need to remember when we share our lives together with our Spouses and that is laughter a gift from God.

    He wants us to enjoy all His blessings and having fun together creates a wonderful feelings of closeness … which stays with us in the hard times, of course we need the other 7 too or we won’t feel like laughing.

    Christian Love from both of us – Anne

  5. Beautiful story! It’s good to know you’re not alone when it comes to troubles in a relationship and that things can be worked out.

      1. Thanks much for the encouraging words, Gloria.
        Having done the ‘sounds of India’ vicariously through the blog, hope someday soon you’ll get to experience it at first hand !!!!

        best, anantha

  6. How blessed I am to have received a note of support from you on my wee blog…and finding your talent here. Thank you for sharing your authentic self and honest emotions. B R A V O

  7. So great to have someone show you who are new in your life of being a couple how to become stronger and lovelier, closer together! I think the phoenix is an excellent choice of an example of love in its beauty. Take care and be well. Robin

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