Save Me!

Hello God!

Thank You very much for difficulties I meet on my way. I love discomfort they bring because discomfort is a sign to change environment and personal features.

I am in a bad situation. The thing is in my absolute financial dependency from my husband. And I hate it!!! I hate it by my whole heart. The deepness of my misery is unbearable. I am a person with brilliant and expensive education and wide outlook who begs from husband additional 20 euros for underwear!!! It seems I am dying because of pathetic the situation.

I am suffered deeply and I love it! I love this challenge because I have only two exist.

The first option is to agree with my dependency until full destroying of my personality. My future is know as physiologically wretched woman with grey hairs and fat bell. I have a pair of examples of women’s lives before my eyes. The worth thing is in perception of their situation by this women as normal. Normal is to be addicted by psychotropic drugs and to eat uncontrollably. I see their way as suicidal. I am saying “No” to the option.

The second option is in clutching teethes and with whole my will and strength I am changing the situation. I am manifestation of the divinity of God. I am brilliant and clever. I can change everything I want. I deserve the best things which life can suggest. We deserve everything the best. We will live in a beautiful house and I will play Debussy on my grand piano near ocean view window.We will buy our clothing and shoes in the best boutiques of London, Paris and San Francisco.

We are beautiful and intelligent people. We have feet and brain to go everywhere we want.

The key word is “want”. I really want us to relocate. I even do not know which force is stronger – my hate to the city we are in now (I do not use word “live” in the previous sentence intentionally) or my love to my family?

At this very moment hate force is stronger. This city is always a mirror of intellectual and material limited source where mediocrity is a ruler and there is no place for freedom and joy in my definitions.

So the Decision was always inside me. The Result is in processing of birth. I know the time of delivering a birth is always painful. But this pain is a joy. A joy in certainty in birth something beautiful and wonderful. I need to be certain in happy changing. The Result is going to be fascinating and startling. I know.

“Nothing ever goes wrong in life.” ~ Byron Katie from Loving What Is 

I love that. I see that everything is either a blissful experience and a blissful opportunity to learn. As Katie says: “Everything happens for me, not to me.” And: “Until you can see everything in the world as your friend, your work is not done.”

“So, the sooner we can get to the point where we realize the fact that nothing ever goes wrong, the happier we’re going to be” Brian Johnston concludes.

As usual music is my life saver. Thank you Freddie for saving me.

We are the Winners of Green Card Due to We are Perfect Life!

We are the Winners of Green Card Due to We are Pure Love!

We are the Winners of Green Card Due to We are Pure Luck!

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